I realized today that my Ex and I should have never dated let alone married. We're friends and get along better now then when we were together. We even talked about women the other day. He informed me that he was seeing someone, and that's ok until you tell me that you can't see your son that day because you are hanging out with her. Come to find out that she is married, and I'm sorry I can't respect someone that joins someone in a relationship when they are already commited to one. Of course to him I'm jealous that he has someone and I don't. That's not it, I am jealous but not of your relationship with someone like that, but of the freedom you have. In response to this he stated "You left me, you chose to leave." That is correct I chose to leave, but I didn't choose the kind of father you turned out to be. It saddens me to know that any parent whould choose someone or something else over their child.
I know this because recently I've been talking to my father a lot more about growing up and him not being around. Yes he was in our lives but not as much as he would have liked and now it's started to sink in to him. He said he would like to build a relationship with his grandchildren so this time he doesn't miss out. I just wish my Ex knows what he is missing out on, and how much it will hurt later in life when he looks back. For me I'm worried about building a relationship with my son and not someone else, there's plenty of time later for that.
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