The bible tells you to forgive those who have wronged you, however it doesn’t tell you to forget. As many know it’s hard to forgive but as far as forgetting some never will. I am trying to better my life, but it is hard when you have so much bitterness bottled up inside. I have spoken with friends and I have prayed for a release of this emotion and as many have told me this is not something that will go away over night.
I think that I have been so unhappy for so long that I am finding it hard to be the opposite, but not from lack of trying. So many people that I know have the time and freedom to do as they please, I unfortunally do not. I do not resent my son in any way, but sometimes I find myself thinking about what life would be like if he wasn’t here. Would I still have my job? My marriage? I guess that’s a loaded question because I will never know the answer. I guess in a way my anger is geared towards my ex. I’m sure that’s a normal reaction for many. So many questions that I have will never be answered and I’m not sure that there is a right answer.
I don’t like feeling this way; my mind is consumed with hatred and bitterness that I pray will go away soon. This is not me, this is not who I want to be. I just want to be happy again.
No comments:
Post a Comment